This is a great comment and point; thank you. I’m not sure if you saw my conversation with Rowan above, but what you’ve said here relates to the points he was making.

I do think boundaries are important, and there are probably situations in which respectfulness isn’t as called for, or isn’t very useful. But I also think respect is the best course most of the time, which I think you were saying too. It’s just hard to distill this down into a single rule for all situations — hence feeling conflicted.

Here are a couple more thoughts, to add to what I wrote to Rowan:

* Someone who is attached to false and/or harmful beliefs is probably suffering from some kind of pain. Recognizing that suffering is an avenue towards finding compassion for them and treating them with respect, even if we don’t feel much respect for them.

* Often, others will only listen to us if we first make them feel heard. That’s a powerful argument for listening respectfully, even to nonsense — at least in private settings.

* I don’t think of respect as exactly an obligation we owe each other, but more like a beneficial choice I hope more of us will make. Like: “I don’t owe this person respect, but I believe it’ll do a better service to myself, them, and the world if I work to extend it to them anyway, so I’ll try.”