What is white fragility, anyway?

The phrase “white fragility” first made the rounds in progressive circles a few years ago, then became more common after George Floyd’s death, when Robin DiAngelo’s book White Fragility zoomed to the top of the New York Times bestseller list. I think the term has its place — but I’m concerned that it’s getting misused.

White fragility is an emotional, defensive response among white people to the sensitive topic of racism. Here’s a definition by DiAngelo:

“In a nutshell, it’s the defensive reactions so many white people have when our racial worldviews, positions, or advantages are questioned or challenged. …

Compassion and progressive activism go hand in hand

A decade ago, I was living in Madison, Wisconsin when Republicans swept all three branches of Wisconsin’s state government — an alarming sea change for Dems in a state that had voted for the Democratic Presidential candidate in every election since 1988.

My boyfriend Ron and I supported progressive causes, and we wanted to understand what had happened to our once-Blue state. On a whim, I emailed the local GOP and asked if anyone would be willing to chat with us. …

As an advocate for respectful political discourse, I sometimes get asked what to do about jerks. Do we have to be kind to them? Kindness and respect are wonderful, but if someone’s being belligerent, shouldn’t we stand up to them? After all, we don’t owe them anything.

But here are three reasons to be kind, even to someone who’s not being kind back. Plus, my exception to the rule — because kindness does have its limits.

Reason 1: The Message Is the Goal

Yes, it’s unfair when one person is more respectful than the other in conversation. It’s challenging to be on the receiving end of disrespect…

I am one of the few Americans who watched both the Democratic and the Republican National Conventions. I watched almost all of both of them — around seventeen hours in total! If you watched parts of one but not the other, I highly recommend balancing that out. (You can find them on YouTube.)

As a progressive, the DNC brought me hope, comfort, and affirmation. The RNC was far more challenging. But it was also far more educational! I had four major takeaways from the RNC, and they came to me in the following order.

First, I felt anger. There were So. Many. Lies.

There were lies by omission. Trump…

The video of Jacob Blake’s shooting in Wisconsin is shocking. The police officer follows Blake around his car, feebly tugs at his shirt to get him to stop leaning into the car, then swiftly shoots him several times in the back. It all happens in just a few seconds. When I saw it on Monday, I felt jolted as though struck by lightning.

Why didn’t the officer stop Blake from leaning into the car? Why did he shoot him so many times? A woman screaming and jumping nearby captures the anguish of the scene. Blake’s kids were right there in…

Last night was the first night of the virtual Democratic National Convention, and I watched the whole thing. I missed the DNC four years ago because I was laid up in a hospital for much of the summer, too sick to handle any political news. This year, I’m grateful to be able-bodied enough to take it in.

The evening was food for my soul. The Dems have chosen hope and unity as their mantras, and I was uplifted by the imagery and rhetoric they chose. …